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NOT EVERYTIME EVENTS & ROADSHOWS…SOMETIMES USE YOUR HEAD

Imagine walking down a street with just one aim in mind – make it to the bus park before your bus leaves. Then all of a sudden, your peripheral vision catches sight of a speech bubble on the wall, with a bold message saying…GETS TO WHERE THEY LIVE. pic1 Conspicuously placed next to the message is an Insecticide. You try to wade it off as a regular ad by an insecticide company trying to sell a product. “Kini big deal…Nothing out of the ordinary,” you say, but then again under closer scrutiny there appears to be a crack in the wall. Suddenly your curiosity kicks in. You move towards the image with the sole purpose of unraveling the mystery of the speech bubble and the crack in the wall…and what do you find? pic2 pic3 Miniature roaches living the life! The creepy creatures are going about their daily activities like everyday tenement residents. How would you react? Would that ad bring a smile to your face? YES! Would you applaud the brilliant thinking and execution? YES! Would you forget it in a hurry? HELL NO!

I have always been fascinated with the brilliance of Ambient Advertising – ads that appear in unusual places – hidden but meant to be seen, whispers but yells at you all in a bid to captivate the usually uninterested passersby. Ambient Ads are so different from traditional media and they aren’t screaming ‘buy me! buy me!’ but are literally engaging the consumer…Kamasutra style!

It is easily my favourite…no, not K-style…I mean my favourite kind of outdoor advertising- Ambient! It thrives on humour, simplicity, creativity, innovation and engagement. You’d hardly see an ambient ad without letting off a broad smile and possibly an unspoken acknowledgment or admiration of the creative brilliance of the advertiser…I take that back…the Agency.

Unfortunately in a lot of agencies in my part of the world, this unique kind of advertising is yet to gather steam. Most often, it isn’t a case of lack of ideas or budget as ambient advertising can be quite economical. It is oftentimes the dearth of daring clients. (gotta blame C somehow you know) Whilst this train of thought is quite convenient, let me also mention that oftentimes, we lack the capabilities to carry out a damn good execution. You may call this ‘logistical challenges.’ So we seem to stay put in our comfort zones – road shows, events and traditional advertising.

Giving up is not an option. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, “a little more persistence, a little more effort and what seemed like a hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”

Let’s not quit tapping into the immense potential of ambient advertising as we develop our advertising strategy and campaigns. When next you’re thinking of that WOW factor in your campaign, think ambient. If the execution falls into place, Ambient Advertising offers an upper hand compared to traditional outdoor advertising. Its effect on the consumer is anything but transient… You can bet it will always, always leave them the happiest.

Image source: boredpanda.com

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THE PEN SHOP

pen shop

Oscar works in the Procurement Department of a top Marketing Communications firm in Nigeria…2 days from now, he’ll be out of work. No, not because he has reached the company’s retirement age of 55 but because he invoked the wrath of the Almighty Client. SMH.

Instead of procuring original Mont Blanc pens for the client’s high-value event, Oscar secured Mount Blan pens from some supplier in Shomolu. Mount noni…lol. If only Oscar knew about The Pen Shop.

We are pleased to introduce to you, The Pen Shop Limited. We are a leading provider of Corporate and Promotional gift items to major businesses in Nigeria, with several years of experience in the industry. The Pen Shop is a one-stop shop that features the most varied and wide range of corporate and promotional gifts and tangible image-enhancing products.

OUR PRODUCTS

We employ a three-way approach in providing best practices to satisfy clients in these ways:

1. EXCLUSIVE PENS & WRITING MATERIALS

The Pen Shop opened up and has advanced marketing of the most varied sets of writing materials anywhere in Nigeria, which includes such signature pens like MONT BLANC, LAMY, MONTEGRAPPA, SCHNEIDER and WATERMAN. Others include CROSS, SHEAFFER and PARKER.

2. DESKTOP ACCESSORIES

We also stock and deliver assorted desktop and office accessories, like the exclusive LERCHE variants that normally sports: • Library Sets (Scissors, Letter Opener, Magnifying Glass, Desk Clock, Stapler, Magnetic Paper Clip Dispenser, Pen/Pencil Holder, etc) • Corporate Jewellery • Award Plaques • Framed Paintings & Artworks, among others.

3. PROMOTIONAL & GIFT WARES

Innovation and a sense of proactive approaches are used in meeting calendar events to satisfy clients by providing them with an array of products such as the under-listed ones.

• Calendars • Key Rings/Openers • Ballpoint Pens • Block/Table Pads • Umbrellas • Lapel Badges, Tie Clips • Promotional Bags • Portable TV & Radio sets • Glass & Silverwares • Mugs, Flask & Crystals • Desk & Pocket Diaries • Desk Pads • Ties & Scarves • Face Caps • T-Shirts & Polo Shirts • Desk Organizers • Business Card Pouches • Baseball Caps • Calculators • Trophies and Plaques • Quartz Table Clocks . Leather Goods

INTERNATIONAL AFFILATION

We are 5 Star Member of PROMOTA UK, Member Trade Only UK and Sole Agent to Sheaffer Writing Instrument in Nigeria. The Pen Shop relies on the deep insight of its foreign affiliates on current international trends and innovations in the trans-border corporate imagery business in sourcing for authentic wares to comply with the specifications of its clients.

STANDARD

All our corporate and promotional items are designed to meet international standards and are delivered in a timely manner.

We look forward to receiving an invitation to present our organization’s experience with you at your earliest convenience. You can contact us via our website: http://www.promotion-shop.co.uk/thepenshop; thepenshopng.com or call +234 803 304 7056 + 234 808 915 8022.

CLINCHING THE BIGGEST ACCOUNT OF 2014/2015

If you carried out a dip-stick survey and asked top ad and media agencies in Nigeria who their choicest clients were, you can be certain they would mention clients within the Telecommunications, Financial, FMCG or Oil/Gas industry. With the 2015 elections around the corner, they most likely would add one more client to their list – Political office holders/seekers.

Nigeria has a very free market for broadcasting political messaging. Like their counterparts in other parts of the world, Nigerian politicians have discovered the immeasurable, persuasive power of advertising to influence eligible voters especially, to support their ideas and get their votes. From heavy jingles on television and radio to huge billboards splattered all over the country, ads of various political parties and their aspirants have taken the front burner in the Nigerian Mass Media.

Thanks to CNN’s outright rejection of 2015-related adverts for its overt political messages, a lot of the advertising budget will now be redirected to local media and ad agencies, thereby boosting employment. It is estimated that over N20B would be spent on political campaigns in 2015.

Clinching this sort of account is the way to go. Inspite of its fickle nature and short life expectancy, we hope you tap into the huge windfall from political parties and politicians’ patronage in the coming electioneering campaigns.

Will Agencies take time to screen their prospective clients for the interest of national growth or will they simply key into the largesse? Will the ads actually sway voters? Will the candidates actually fulfill all that they have promised? Will the elections be free and fair? Will the best man win? As valid as these questions are, they would certainly be far from the minds of members of the board when the fiscal year comes to an end. Certainly, more billings and bottom line profit will be top priority. After all, this is business.

With all the hardwork, sleepless nights, money and money’s worth put in to developing a political campaign, we wouldn’t care less if the masses “pless umburella or broom” or whatever other symbol the political parties adopt as part of their identity. We can only hope that as an agency/individual pitching for a political account, the odds be ever in your favour.

ALCOHOL, COFFEE and OTHER DRUGS

inebriate When it seems like your brain has run out of juice, what do you take to get the ideas flowing again? Alcohol or coffee? Which makes you a creative badass and gets the job done?

Some feel more alive and focused after a cup of espresso, others take a shot of vodka and their brain erupts with ideas from every creative sphere. The ideas rapidly spawn and seem to materialize before their very eyes.

I’m not a big fan of coffee (none of us is…we do bottles…for the pain). So I really can’t testify to its idea-generating powers. Alcohol? oh my!

Whichever form the alcohol takes – a bottle of ice cold brew, a shot of vodka or brandy, a glass of wine; that shit works wonders. (I swear, there is scientific evidence backing this up, google it up, maybe?) You’re making a presentation to a client and the words seem to flow without all ‘em retarded pauses, ums, or ahs. You’re typing 350 WPM without looking at the keyboard. The right hemisphere of your brain literally explodes with creative juice and the somewhat noisy kaleidoscope of colours takes a more organized spectrum…washere, you’re on a roll, mehn. If that isn’t ultimate redefined, I don’t know what is.

Alcohol consumption makes one better at creative problem-solving tasks. If you doubt me, I suggest you carry out a little test in your agency. Split your creative team into two teams – #TeamInebriates and #TeamSober. Let #TeamInebriates take as much alcohol as they want (hopefully, they’ll take it in mild doses). Just assume it’s a TGIF party without the MD. Or better still, get the bloody MD in on it. (Ahmean, it’s controlled scientific research). Allow the other team stay sober.

Now give both teams a brief and tell them to come up with as many ideas as possible within 2hours. I can bet my entire life savings (not sure it amounts to much, I’m just a bloody copywriter) that the team of drinkers will come up with the best ideas.

Here’s what I think:

Alcohol is what you take when you need to come up with award-winning ideas and you have less than an hour to deliver …the kind that gets you twelve promotions in one year. It is my prescription but you might need to figure out what amount to consume yourself. I can’t do that ‘cos I’ve not seen your brief.

Coffee is what you take when you want to stay alert and focused to execute or follow through on your idea(s). It also comes in handy when you don’t want to be caught dozing off on duty, especially on a Monday morning.

Conclusion of the matter is: Take alcohol in the morning, coffee in the afternoon. Or better still, take alcohol to think up awesome ideas then serve your colleagues coffee to get the job done. Both works really 😀

A few other creative gangsters will recommend ‘kana bees sativa’…I hear it works wonders…if by wonders you mean going gaga with crazy ideas that will neither be approved by your Creative Director nor the Client…but again, who needs their approval, right? #daretobedifferent. Some would say it is the ultimate conduit to your creative muse.

Whatever option you choose though, drink responsibly! TGIF!..Monday. My bad.

Miracles – A short fiction by Bankole Banjo

I love my job. I really do. Who wouldn’t enjoy a job that requires one to consistently perform miracles?! Yeah, you read right. Miracles.

Before your imaginations run amok, let me quickly place a caveat: I am not a pastor. Neither am I a prayer contractor. In fact, I go to church only on Sundays my work schedule (and other things too dirty to list here) permits. I am a copywriter. You may call me a Miracle Worker.

Laymen think we just write adverts. But, hell no. We create miracles. Or how does one explain bringing awe-inspiring, wow-inducing campaigns to life from scratch all through a barely living document they call brief? What better summarizes a job that keeps you alert and on your toes every waking -and sleeping- moment of your life with abominable deadlines? What better term justifies a job that mandates you to satisfy a diverse team of clients who are as insatiable as a fresh nympho in bed?

It’s 9.57pm here and I am no where close to calling it a day. As things stand, I might have to spend the night at work. Like every Miracle Worker who would sometimes come face-to-face with some ebola-ish demons, I am deep in my neck with briefs. Three, actually. And the three are required to birth ideas that will move the brands into at least two-years in terms of execution and competitive relevance. However, one is very urgent. There’s another presentation set for noon tomorrow to discuss new ideas with the client. We’ve been on that particular brief for far too long and we’re no way near getting out something -anything- the client likes.

I am lost, confused even, and d-day approaches, like a long-chosen court date. Yet, I must deliver.

Ideas have been thrown back and forth like tennis balls on a court but each time, my Creative Director never seems to see the brilliance of each and everyone. I am tempted to think he is the original ebola. It definitely isn’t a coincidence he’s got a ‘bola’ in his name.

“Guy, there’s nothing here,” he says yet again as he finishes going through the fresh ideas I just dropped on his desk.

I sigh in resignation.

“You need to lose that box Nicholas; you’ve boxed yourself mentally,” I hear him say. “We are looking for an epic campaign, the kind that will win awards. We are not talking LAIF here o, something international, alright?”

I nod slowly, confused the more.

“Na LAIF my oga dey wash so? Hmmnnn… No be the same LAIF e take shine reach position wey e dey so? Wonders shall never end.”

“Let me try again sir,” I say and leave.

I get to my desk and suddenly feel a need to take a leak.

I need to see my doctor one of these days; why I dey always feel like taking a leak every time I get my ideas thrown back at me. There must be some kinda war going on between my brain and urinaries.

I make a bee-line to the rest room located on the next floor. I still wonder the sense in siting the rest room on another floor. Was the Architect drunk or something when he was conceptualizing the building? But that’s none of my business.

I whip out my equipment to do the business for which the room was specifically built (your imaginations are entirely up to you here), only to hear my tummy rumble. You know that ol’ boy-I-need-to-escape rumble? I heed the call and make for the cubicles that house the closets. Like I was taught as a young boy, I flush first and proceed to unkit. I stop midway when I see that the tissue holder is empty.

I sigh, zip up and go back to fetch a roll of tissue from my desk drawer upstairs.

Damn this mumu Architect.

I return soon and prepare to get to business behind closed doors. Then I stop. Something is floating nonchalantly in the closet. I peer closely to confirm what it is.

“Jesus!” I whisper to myself.

Staring at me is a used condom, the familiar cream well-deposited in it. I swear it was not there a few minutes ago.

“What?! Now now?! Hian!” I gasp in shock. This is a miracle.

How many minutes I spend wey this kain who-dey-house don happen? Closet wey I flush myself just now?!

I hurriedly exit the cubicle, my leak-sh*t assignment all but forgotten.

No be me go come use that kain closet.

I wander back upstairs, to my desk and try to think. I imagine the mystery ‘mates’ in the cubicle, babe bent against the closet, the guy ramming her from behind. It must be a record for a quickie.

Omo, sharp badt guys full this agency. Ehn ehn?

Then it strikes me. Like a blast of electricity from a naked wire. Something totally unrelated.

I quickly fish out three new plain sheets of paper and the brief i’d been battling with. A light bulb has gone on in my head. It is a miracle. A miracle inspired by a quickie that defies logic. Isn’t that a lot like thinking outside the box?

With a smile caressing my stressed face, I begin to put my thoughts on paper. Ebola-incarnate cannot throw this away.

***

Bankole Banjo is an anthologized short story writer and award-winning copywriter with Nigeria’s foremost Marketing Communications Agency. He tweets via @banky_writes.

THE SEARCH FOR THE NIGERIAN LION: WHERE IS OUR CANNES-DO SPIRIT?

Nigeria is a nation of resilient people. With all the explosive drama and setbacks in our polity, this could easily go down as the understatement of the year – but we are indeed very resilient. We’ve seen it all, well except the Lions – the prestigious Cannes Lions.

Every year, teams are selected to represent Nigeria in each category of the world’s biggest annual awards show and festival for professionals in the creative communications industry. And each year, our awesome representatives return home inspired and full of wonderful experiences of their sojourn, but without a ‘cub’.

What exactly is holding us down?

There are various schools of thought on the cause of this dearth of global awards. They range from the perceived high cost of sending an entry, to our clients’ culture of stemming cutting- edge, creative work to the fact that Nigeria is indeed a difficult and unique market with censorship boards that live in another age, to some agencies sheer unwillingness to invest in the growth of their people.

Even though the demons to conquer are plenty and even though we may not have the luxury of working with clients who are bold and daring like our international peers do, truth is, we have the ability and capacity to berth award-winning works at Cannes and make our mark on the global creative map. I know this because we take our jobs seriously and the quality of work developed and sent in at our local award festivals keep getting better.

We will persist. We will continue to fight the creative battle with our clients, and hope they appreciate great work – simple, original and globally relevant enough to compete with the rest of the world at the highly exalted Cannes Festival, because nothing in this world takes the place of persistence.

Congratulations to all the winners of 2014 Cannes Lions Award. Hopefully, next year, our voice will sound stronger and louder and we’ll toast our glasses to the plethora of awards that will be won by Nigerian Creative Agencies.

WE CANNES DO IT.

15 REASONS WHY TALENTED ADMEN ARE LEAVING YOUR SHITTY AGENCY

1. It is shitty…and there’s only so much bullshit one can put up with.

2. We know you are the boss… Ta lo n ba e drag? But you’re trying too hard…and this sucks ‘cos you do nothing at all…literally. Everybody wants a boss who’s not just a supervisor but a mentor that’s always hand-on.

3. You expect us to work our butts off and you pay so freaking little money…what do we look like? Your help?

4. You do not appreciate awesome creative work…you’re so complacent…pretty satisfied with basic, sub-standard work, nothing interesting. Hence no awards – local or international. Who sticks with a loser?

5. You are so full of yourself. You know what they say about empty barrels? You wouldn’t…ask Google maybe?

6. Promises are made in job descriptions and interviews that aren’t kept. What are you? A politician?

7. It’s been 5years since I signed-up under you and my portfolio isn’t worth a crap. Why? Did you just ask me that? Read point 15, schmuck!

8. You keep hiring shit. ‘Hiring the wrong employee wastes time, money and causes unnecessary frustration for everyone, in small words you keep stiring the muck… kinda feels like having a boil up your rear end…’ lose the dead weight already….What part of this do you not understand?

9. You’ve refused to invest in your people. No trainings, no work tools, no nothing…just a bunch of relics you call computers with softwares that can crash for Africa.

10. You have refused to cut us some slack…yeah, we’ve been brainwashed and have chosen to be led like sheep….RULES! RULES! RULES! No one likes rules that make no sense. ‘Submit a daily report of jobs done’, ‘do not re-paint your office to the colours of your choice’…really?

11. You do not take annual performance reviews seriously. They are a sheer waste of time ‘cos the forms all end up forgotten either in the HR’s dusty cupboard or in the waste bin.

12. There’s so much politicking and victimization going on. You absolutely have no idea what a great work environment should look/feel like.

13. Your management style sucks. Hello micro-manager of the decade.

14. You do not value creative talent. You treat them like shit.

15. You never push back or politely tell clients their ideas are shit. You say ‘yes’ to all our client’s dippy suggestions just because you think it’s the easiest way to make money. Shit should recognize shit, the same way real recognizes real…but in your case…you know what…never mind. I’m gone.

I swear down, these reasons are legit. They are valid and you can take them to the bank.
So hey u, owner of an #AdAgency…why not do some honest self-appraisal? Is your Agency all shades of shitty…like literally? Fix it or lose it.