The Client Said…(Pt. 1)

BottleForThePain: Hello #Admen! What’s good? Thanks for reading our posts, thanks for the comments, the RTs and most importantly, thanks for putting in a word for us amongst your friends and colleagues. You guys are the absolute best! Hope the client has been good, even though that sounds like an oxymoron…

Client: And what the heck is that suppose to mean?

BottleForThePain: Meaning of oxymoron? Send a brief to your Agency asking for the meaning. Are they not on retainer?

Client: Hahahahahahaha… We’re really not that bad you know…Nice blog by the way. I’m a regular reader. Some deep and honest stuff you’ve got right here.

BottleForThePain: You’re kidding right? You serious? OMG! Thank you! Good to know a client is reading!

Client: Yea, but that’s about it. We read, laugh and move on. Doesn’t change the fact that Agencies are our slaves…I mean partners and they gotta do what they gotta do. They gotta deliver or we replace them…it’s really that simple.

BottleForThePain: *smh* Oh, well…anyway, now that you’re here can we deal with some pertinent issues. It’d be nice to hear your POV on matters that bother around certain clients imposing new staff on Agency at ‘gunpoint’; clients getting kickbacks larger than Agency fee; clients stealing Agencies’ ideas without paying a dime; clients and their last minute fire-brigade approach to work…

Client: *cuts in* Bottle, hold one second…hold it right there…it really isn’t my fault you’re on the Agency side and I, on the client-side you know…’cos I really don’t understand what all these acrimony is about…you mean to tell me that if you’re offered a job this minute by one of ‘em Multinationals, you’d comfortably reject the offer?

BottleForThePain: Look C, that’s besides the poi…

Client: *cuts in* No! That IS the point! Answer! Would you reject a job offer from a client…with a salary that’s twice your current peanut pay? Ahmean, what are we not talking about here? Client this, client that…so what if we impose unqualified staff on Agencies?

BottleForThePain: Unquali…*nods*

Client: So what if we get enormous kickbacks larger than Agency fee and expensive gifts from Agencies on our birthdays…so what if we pre-select Agency peepz who’d manage our accounts and insist they take‘client-service’ to a whole new level?

BottleForThePain: *mouth agape* A whole new level? Ooooooochimo!

Client: Yea, it’s called ‘Clieeeeeeeent-service’ for a reason. Duh! So what if we never know what we want? So what if we barely qualify for our positions, earn lots of money enough to feed a third-world country and do nothing but act busy from week to week? So freaking whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? We pay the bills that keep Agencies in business and that’s all that matters. He who pays the piper dictates the fucking tune! Copy that! I’m out!

BottleForThePain: *bites fingers furiously whilst replaying the latter part of our conversation* It’s called clieeeeeeeent-service for a reason? *nods* Interesting…#ThingsWeLearnEveryday

Client: *walks back* But you know that was all a joke yea? Admen rock you know! Hey, Bottle, where your mates at? I need a bottle for this pai…set-up 😦

BottleForThePain: Yo, C. If you don’t mind, I’ve got a brief to crack…*moonwalks* I’m out! 😀

PS: The entire conversation is a figment of the writer’s bottled up imagination.

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About bottleforthepain

A virtual hangout for admen. For advertisements and sponsored content, send a mail to bottleforthepain@gmail.com

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