The ‘C’ Factor

I’ve got 99…scratch that…10…just 10 problems and they all start with ‘C’.

I spend the best part of my night thinking about them…well, besides drooling over the perfection that is Bradley Cooper.

If these problems also keep you up at night and somehow stop you from attaining greatness, then I suggest we do ourselves a favour and pull the plug…as long as it somehow doesn’t mean the perpetual demise of your Agency…

Here you go:

Clients that kill great work…Like out of the whole lot that you’ve painstakingly created, they pick one that’s not even in your top 100. Yup, that hurts real bad.

Clients that take forever to revert… When they finally do, they want you to put every other project on hold…If it was that important, why did it take them so long to revert?!!!!!! *big sigh*

Clients that never know what they want…They keep on making endless edits until they edit your sanity. Even when you try to help with useful suggestions, they kill it, suggest theirs and kill it too.

Clients that can owe for Africa…These ones are the very reason full-fledged Agencies shut down business forever. Very mean people. They ask Agencies to run projects with their money and promise to pay before the projects ends. For where? And it’s not like they don’t have the money! Eba mi ki gbe ole o!

Clients that always want you to increase the size of their logos… “Make it bigger” *smh* No, how about you make your brain cells bigger? Yup, that could help all of us.

Clients that want great work with zero budget…They never have enough money to run the campaign/project and yet they expect tremendous ROI. We’re getting you, Oga client…We’re really getting you.

Clients that want 10 flyer design options…and end up choosing one. Trust me, the only one picked oftentimes ends up being the scrappiest of the lot. So why exactly did you ask for 10?!!!! Common sense dictates that if you’re looking to produce one flyer design, demand for 3 designs at the most and pick your freaking one! Gosh!

Clients with unrealistic deadlines… “I need it before COB”…And he isn’t talking about a flyer/call card design. A 360* campaign – Press, Radio, TV, Digital. Capable Client, are you kidding?

Clients that always want to tone it down. They never want to take risks… “You guys have done a great job…very creative but please can you ton…” Arrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh! If you want mediocrity, go to Shomolu or a business centre! Why put an Agency through the meat grinder? Haba…Habatically.

Clients that are ex-Agency peeps and should know better…Ahmean, you sit in a meeting with a client who you very well know used to work in an Agency and you all are trying to fix timelines for deliverables and he blurts ‘Guys, I need this before COB…make it happen’ How do you make it happen before COB when you’re still in a meeting at 5pm? Please touch him…check his body temperature… Is he alright?

Here’s what I think…I understand that Agencies need to keep the lights on and pay people. I understand that perfectly. Hence, they can’t keep turning down briefs from certain clients. But there are clients out there who will never find their perfect match because they should be alone like a bitter spinster. #TeamForeverAlone.

You have a bad client? Fire them…NOW! Or they will zap your last blood till you drop. Thank me later. What other ‘problems’ keep you up at night? Share and let’s hope a client is reading if they are not all asleep while we burn the midnight kilobyte.

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About bottleforthepain

A virtual hangout for admen. For advertisements and sponsored content, send a mail to bottleforthepain@gmail.com

6 responses to “The ‘C’ Factor”

  1. Aide Ojigbede says :

    Not an adman, but I feel you. Especially, no. 2. I call it the “hurry up and wait” syndrome…

  2. Titus says :

    ok I agree, especially on the dead line. we will be able to fire our clients one day, in our dreams? As your MD will always remind you that your client contributes 35% of total agency earnings, loss that and your salary will come on the 20th of every month.

    • bottleforthepain says :

      Point taken. I’m aware that there are Agencies who handpick their clients…They don’t work for just about any client. These are Agencies that are known for doing great work and producing great results. Every Agency should aspire to get to that level…then the C factor outlined in the post will be reduced to the barest minimum. Thanks for reading.

  3. Nma Nazzy says :

    I got a mention from you containing the link to your blog… I’m glad I followed it. Nice post. Drop by my blog some time.
    http://www.negrifille.blogspot.com

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